Country music icon Willie Nelson has released his highly anticipated autobiography, Me and Paul: Untold Stories of a Fabled Friendship, a heartfelt tribute to his lifelong friendship with drummer Paul English. Alongside stories from their seven decades together, Nelson also reveals a deeply personal and painful moment from his past.

In the book, the 91-year-old legend reflects on a time when he was in such despair that he considered taking his own life. He recalls telling a fellow bar patron that he once lay his head on a train track, only to walk away and return to the bar about 15 minutes later.

Despite that dark chapter, Nelson makes it clear he’s far from ready to slow down. He says he’s focused on enjoying life and making the most of it. With a routine that includes daily jogging and singing to keep his lungs strong, Nelson credits optimism and staying active for his longevity.

Fans can also look forward to seeing him on stage in the future—he has no plans to retire from performing anytime soon. Through the highs and lows, Willie Nelson remains a resilient force in country music, still doing what he loves most.